Must A Wannabe Content Creator Friend Stop Using People for Content?

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?